Everything seemed like it was getting harder, but in the end, it was making me better…

Galatians 6:9 (ESV)

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Before my grandmother went home to be with the Lord, this is the verse that I always brought up, referenced, or had questions about. I had asked her what the word “weary” meant, and as she finished summing it up for me, she ended with, but we aren’t going to get weary, right? We were on Face Time, and of course, she knew that her words and my facial expression didn’t agree. As I begin to explain to her that life is hard, and I’m barely hanging by a thread, she continued to tell me to hold on. “But for how long?”, I would ask, and she would reply that she didn’t know how long, but that God would show me the way, and that I couldn’t give up in the process.

The times that I have gotten weary would be: When God didn’t or still hasn’t answered a prayer, my kids getting sick back to back, losing a loved one unexpectedly, expressing my point of view and not being heard, something going wrong no matter how hard I try to plan and prepare, not getting a thank you, and the biggest one is not seeing the growth of the seeds that I may have planted.

Instead of being thankful that even though God may not have answered my prayer, I am still blessed with more than enough; or being thankful that the sickness that my children were dealing with didn’t end in death; or being grateful that I was able to spend quality time with that loved one; or being satisfied with being able to express my point of view in the first place; or being thankful that, even though things didn’t work out, I still learned or did my best in the process; or being able to be of service to someone regardless of getting a thank you; or encouraging myself that even though I wont always see the tree that I planted, I still planted the seed. I lost focused on what was important. What’s important was that I was obedient in what I was called to do, and that I was doing the right thing regardless.

As I meditated on this verse, the biggest question that always came to my mind was, why me? And, as I continue to push through day by day, I being ask myself, why not me? Sometimes things become a blur, and I may feel like I was on autopilot, but I have to keep moving forward. They say that sometimes what you are going through is for someone else, and that someone needs the encouragement that you have to make it through what they are dealing with. Truth be told, the struggle is definitely real. With no other thanks than to God, I was recently able to help a friend with what they were dealing with. My mind was blown, because I realized that if I hadn’t stayed the course, and pressed through the process, that I wouldn’t be able to help them. It was hard at times because I didn’t feel as if the advice that I was giving, and the encouragement that I was pouring out was helping. But, in helping them, I was encouraged too.

I can think of many more times, that I was able to help others, but I didn’t do this is my own strength. If it were up to me I would’ve given up a long time ago, because there were times that I didn’t think that I was going to make it, but many people encouraged me to stay the course. I started to get weary, many nights, as I cried myself to sleep, because I thought that God had left me hanging, when I had to attend a four month long school, over 2,000 miles a way from my family. God saw my family and me through, and He surrounded us with people that helped us along the way as well. We all came out stronger, mentally and spiritually. I thought that I was alone, but God showed me that His purpose and plan is bigger than I could ever imagine.

My grandmother had reminded me so many times over the course of the four months that I couldn’t give up and that I had to pass the test and I am encouraging you to do the same with whatever you may be dealing with. Things are not what they appear to be, and if it were easy then everyone would be doing it. Everything that you are going through is for a reason, and even though you don’t see it now, you will sooner or later. Your greater is coming but you won’t get a chance to see it if you get weary now! Have faith, be obedient to what God calling you to do and trust that in Him. Always remember that if you can see it then its not faith!