Daddy, help me please. Where did I go wrong? I think I’m still filled with fear. I still have anger in my heart. I’m excited and ready to go but I’m also afraid of failing after learning all of this. I’m still not feeling confident. I’m still thinking that I’m not close to You. I still think that I need to do better. Why does this hurt so much. I feel like I have failed again. I want to hear from You. I haven’t been consistently praying or reading Your word this week. I did enjoy spending time with my best friend. It’s nice to have a great friend.

I don’t want to be away from You. Forgive me for moving again. Forgive me for trying to take my life out of Your hands. And think that I had everything together again. I just used up all of that space for three words! (disclaimer: I am writing these letters on paper and then typing them out). I tried to take Your place and be You. I got upset. I lost track. I started to get stuck. I feel stupid. What did I do? I started letting things get to me again. Why am I so weak? I started to get angry with all of the complaining and whining. I started to get angry because everyone has a story to tell but that doesn’t mean that they are in the right. What about all of the stories where people make themselves out to be good, but they aren’t. I pray for my judgmental, wicked, evil, burdened, broken, and bruised heart.

I need You. I am nothing without You. I am not worthy to be Your daughter, but You called me out by name. Help me to see me with Your eyes. Help me to move forward as I follow You. Help me to forgive me and move forward. I don’t know what to do with my blog on Facebook group. I don’t know what You want me to do. I don’t know anymore. I am scared and paranoid. I need Your rest and assurance. I need You. I feel alone, I feel all over the place.