I am weak and that’s okay.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 New International Version (NIV)

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” There I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in the weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Honestly, I don’t really think that it’s okay to be weak. I don’t mean weak physically, but as I walk with God, I know that I am set apart. I’m not saying that I am better than anyone else, but I am saying that when I choose to follow Christ, how I carry myself must be different. I’m sure that almost everyone has heard someone say, “Christians don’t do that”, or “I thought you were a Christian, you can’t do that”. But I am saying all that to say this, I don’t like being weak. There are times where I must be quiet and be the bigger person because I must ensure that the only reason that I am saying something is not just because I’m trying to benefit my ego.

Right now, I am feeling weak. I am starting to let everything get to me. I was talking to my pastor’s wife about an idea and she told me to put a plan together and my mind was blown. It was just an idea and I don’t think I am ready to execute it. I am feeling nervous, anxious, scared, and my mind is all over the place. On top of that, I have been emotional lately and I want to cry about everything.

So here I am thinking that I can’t do this because this is a lot and I don’t believe that I can get this done. This is on my mind for a long time and I can’t think of anything else. I really don’t want to come up with a plan and I don’t want to move forward. But I chose the scripture because I know that it’s not about me and that I am not alone. God is with me and he will see me through this. I am weak because I don’t know how I am going to get through this. I am weak because I know that I can’t do this without God. I am weak because this is hard and challenging but I can’t let it scare me and create fear and doubt into my heart. I am weak because it is not me that is doing this but the power of the Holy Spirit that is working inside of me.

I am weak and that’s okay. I know that God is going to see me through this. But what I can’t do is lay down and give up. I can’t surrender or my circumstance defeat me. But, as I am writing this right now, I feel calmer knowing that I don’t know how this is going to play out, but God does. I am sitting here right now declaring that I will not fail. I am declaring right now that this will play out how God wants it to. I will rest assured that God is in control and I don’t have to worry about all the details.

I have gone through so much in life where I was too weak spiritually, physically, and mentally to want to push forward. There are times that I felt weak and didn’t want to get out of the bed and start my day. There are times that I didn’t want to smile, that I didn’t want to encourage someone else, that I didn’t want to care about anything else but myself and what I was going though. But I continued to press forward because I have the hope that this is not the end, and there must be so much more to life than the present trouble that I am facing. I have the victory, but don’t get me wrong, I don’t always feel that way as you can tell.

There are times when I want everything to go right, where I don’t want to face trouble, where I don’t want to be taken outside of my comfort zone, where I don’t want to have to struggle to make it through. But NOTHING that I have done to get to the place where I am now was ever birthed through comfort. There were times that I thought I wasn’t going to make it, there were times that I screamed and cried and questioned God, there were times that I just sat quietly and didn’t say anything because I didn’t have the words to say.

I am weak and that’s okay, because it is in those moments that God is going to do everything that I wanted to take control of but couldn’t. He is going to do so much more than I could think or imagine. I know this because I have the faith to believe it even though things are hard, he will see me though. Why should I accept only good things without the bad? Why do I only want the blessing without the struggle?

There are many people that will tell me that I am great at this and that, but its not me! It’s the God that is in me! I can’t do this alone and I don’t want to do this alone. I have been blessed beyond words, and I truly don’t deserve everything that I have now. But God loves me and he cares for me and I am truly thankful for his grace and mercy!

I wasn’t going to write another blog post until next week, but I am stressing right now and I needed to get this out. I pray that this encourages someone. When we are weak is when we are truly strong! Now let’s pick up our head and walk in faith and watch God work!

Thank you for being here. You are important, special, and one of a kind.

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