And fear started settling in, but I told myself that I wouldn’t let this happen again…
Joshua 1:9 NIV “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is will be with you wherever you go.”
As I think about what it means to fear, I think about all of the times that I had to endure a situation, without knowing the outcome. I think about all of the times, that I had fear of losing a friend, or loved one. I think about all of the times that, I don’t have control over a situation, and the only one that I could control was myself. I mention all of this and even as I am typing the words, I am fearful of the future and the unknown.
Why? Because not being in control scares me. If you’re asking me why I am not in control, it’s because I pray continually to ask God to help me walk in my purpose. What I am seeking is far above what I can think or imagine; but I want God to use me for the purpose that He created me. What I am saying is that I have chosen to surrender what I believe that I want and need to allow God to show me His way.
I’m surrendering the control that I mentioned earlier. I want to go here, I want to do this or that, but even though we have the free will to make our own choices, don’t mean that all of those choices are good for you. For me, what will end up happening is that if I have a choice to choose, I will always choose comfort over a change. It sounds crazy but I am being honest.
But, if I claim that I am allowing God to show me His way, then why am I fearful? I’m fearful because it goes against the normal. For example, it’s normal for me to shy away from encouraging someone for fear of rejection. It’s normal for me to not want to help anyone, no matter who they are, for fear of being vulnerable. It’s normal for me to have a pity party, for me to feel sorry for myself, for me to want to complain instead of taking responsibility for my actions.
As we mediate on the scripture from The Book of Joshua, the Lord told Joshua twice before this verse to be strong and courageous in following out the orders that the Lord had given him. Just as the Lord was with Joshua, the Lord is always with each and everyone one of is. The scripture is not stating that we have been commanded to be strong and courageous without God, but what it is saying that, we have been commanded to be strong and courageous with God by our side.
Even I can think back on when I thought that I was alone, and that God didn’t hear my prayers. Even as I have mentioned in a previous post, how I went to a school in Twentynine Palms, CA, while my husband and children were in North Carolina. I thought that God didn’t understand what I was going through. I didn’t want to be that far away from home. My husband has vertigo, and he will get dizzy out of nowhere and it triggers panic attacks, and I am always there to help him through it. Granted it was rough at first not being home, but I had to attend this school for my career. By the grace and power of God, I finished the school successfully, but we had friends that live close enough to us that were able to help my husband with the kids, when he needed help.
I thought God had left me alone, and I was fearful. This scripture continued to come to me remembrance, through all of the tears, and pleading with God. But, if I know that He has brought me through so much, then why would I still be filled with fear of the future? Because I am fearful that there will be a time that God won’t be there. But scripture also states that He will never leave us nor forsake us. So if it says then either the scripture is lying or fear doesn’t have as much power as we tend to give it. I think we can all come to the conclusion that we give fear more power than it should have and that the scripture isn’t lying, better yet, God isn’t lying.
I know that fear is a natural feeling, but what isn’t natural is allowing fear to cripple you, and to paralyze you. I don’t know about you, but I give fear so much power than it makes me run and hide. Fear makes me afraid to be myself, fear makes me worry about what people say about me to the point that I may not do what I am supposed to do, based off someone’s opinion. Fear makes me now want to take risks, for fear of failing. Fear makes me not want to take the next step for fear of being wrong.
I am here today to tell you that fear is a liar! You can’t let it get to you. It’s taken me this long to publish another blog because I feared that what I was doing wasn’t good enough because I haven’t been getting as many views; but the thing is that I am not doing this for the approval of others but the approval of God, and I feel without a doubt that God has given me the permission to start this blog which in the end, is all for His glory. The thing with fear is that it will have you digging up the seed that you just planted because it takes too long to see the progress. As if the beauty and strength of an Oak tree happens overnight. You can’t let fear hinder you any longer, and I cant either!
If you can relate to this, I pray that from this point forward, that you don’t ever let fear kill your dreams and desires anymore! Yes, things may be hard for you, but you are not alone! God is with you, and He sees you, and He cares! But, don’t ever forget that everything that you go through is preparing you for something greater! God wants to exceed your expectations, not be limited by them!
When I am feeling fearful, the last thing that I want to do is vent to someone. But, I start with prayer, and ask God for wisdom and guidance. Literally after I feel that I am in a hole that I dug for myself, I vent to someone that I can trust and that can give me encouraging advice, that pushes me to be better and keep me on track with that I am trying to accomplish. Someone that wont allow me to continue to throw a pity party but will challenge me to cling to God and continue to walk in my purpose! Also I have to listen to motivational speakers, bible sermons or encouraging and positive Christian music. But, if you don’t like to do any of that or some of them, I challenge you to create your own positive space!
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Your life is important and you are important and are needed in God’s kingdom! Thank you for who you are. God loves you and I love you, and we need you to stay in the fight!